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I gotta say - this works, or at least it works for us. The key is absolute consistency, which isn't as hard as it seems. And yes, it did work from under 2 years of age, even with a child with a very limited vocabulary. I keep the language very much at his level: "if you do that, you can get hurt. These can hurt you. You mustn't do x because it can hurt you." I rephrase the same thing once or twice in a row, to reinforce, explain that if he does it again he gets a time out, and redirect. I don't talk over his head, and I'll say, "look at me. Look at mom." as many times as I have to in order to make absolutely certain I have his attention before I tell him what's up.
Now that he's a bit older, (27 mo) I give him a choice, a sense of taking responsibility or facing the consequences. I tell him nicely, saying please, to stop the behaviour, whatever it is. If he stops, I reward him immediately by thanking him, praising him, hugging him, etc. If he doesn't, I tell him, "you can either stop what you're doing, or you will have to go in your room for a time out." If he doesn't stop, time out it is, and I explain again *why* he's getting the time out. When we're out and about, if he runs away and doesn't stop, won't hold my hand to cross a street, or does something else that is willfully disobedient and potentially life-threatening, he immediately goes in the stroller, with an explanation of why he's going in the stroller. This almost never happens now, after a couple of months of adjustment, and I always go over the ground rules before we leave the house. He's got a good memory, so reminding him of "the time you ran away and fell down and hurt your knees" is powerful.
New Baby On The Way Busy Toddler AdviceAmy There are many schools of thought that a child less than about 2 1-2 - 3 years old will have a difficult time understanding consequences properly. It's discussed all the time on...
Even so, though, I'm blessed with a relatively laid back toddler. He's got a little friend who I sometimes watch who's like a feral child. Partly it might be her mom's approach with her, but I think part of it is just that she's fearless and willful. Of course, ds follows her around like a puppy . . . ;)
Melania Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003) and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)
