Melania
when ettiquette goes bonkers 2187writes In the UK it does seem to be common practice to include registry cards with the wedding invitation. I think every wedding invitation I've had except one has done it. We didn't because...
Registries tread a very thin line. Some etiquette mavens (including Miss Manners) don't really like them at all, but they've become rather insbreastutionalized, and they really are very helpful in situations where the guest wants to buy something traditional like china or crystal and can't afford to buy an entire service for 12 and thus need to know pattern information (and perhaps which particular items are still in short supply). Registries can easily get out of hand and slide into rudeness.
The main key is that registry information is only given out when specifically requested by the guest. A guest who didn't want to buy off the registry needn't ever see it, or even know whether it exists.
The suggestions, per se, aren't the problem--again, as long as the giver *asks* for the information.
The goal of gift-giving isn't for it to involve as little effort as humanly possible. Part of what makes gifts special is the effort that goes into thinking of the right gift and procuring it.
*EVERYONE* needs money for something. Anyone who wants to give money can rest pretty buttured that the recipient will put it to some good use. It's a bit impersonal, but frankly, the only time it doesn't go over well is between people who are very close and ought to know each other well enough to know what the other person *really* likes. There's no need to set up some kind of fund registry that might as well wave a red flag saying SEND CASH HERE--WE DON'T REALLY WANT YOUR GIFTS, SEEING AS THEY MIGHT BE ATROCIOUS, BUT WE CAN ALWAYS USE CASH!
when ettiquette goes bonkers 2188Welches It is still considered improper according to etiquette. You may elect to ignore that, but it is--and quite a few people find it very offputting. If you are grateful for something *YOU...
Best wishes, Ericka
