Actually, I don't think it's necessary to say to the mother that he's "a bit bossy" or anything like that. Instead, you can approach it as: "all children get into conflicts sometimes. Our kids really enjoy playing with each other. Let's talk about how we're going to handle things when they do get into the occasional argument or even hurt each other." Remember that it's possible that your daughter might hurt the boy sometime, and be ready to do whatever you'd agreed on.
You can discuss various ways of handling conflicts without accusing the mother of having a child who's any more violent than average. Well, actually, she may feel as if she's being accused of that just because she knows it's true and because you're raising the subject! But at least using more diplomatic approaches you may get further.
It's not necessary for the mother to recognize that she has a child more violent and controlling than average. What is necessary is for the mother to learn better ways of supervising children when they act controlling, and of teaching children not to be like that.
You could look for resources such as parenting books, parenting clbuttes, conferences on parenting etc. You could look for ones that you yourself actually have some interest in learning something from, and then say to the mother, "Look at this! This looks really interesting. I think I'm going to go to this. Do you want to go with me? It would be fun to go together."
You could read parenting books that tell what to do when you have a child who hits, controls other children etc., and then you could do a lot of those same things with the boy. The book that springs to mind is "Secrets of Discipline" by R. Morrish, but there are lots of other good parenting books, too.
my friend's controlling son 1083Newsgroups It sounds like this is something you can't just let slide. This seems to be affecting your daughter, and you cannot allow your fear to...
-- Cathy A *much* better world is possible.
