xkatx
BTDT. :-)
If I was in the restaurant watching the scene, I'd commend you on your good parenting.
I threw my back out shortly after my DD#2 was born, and it took a long time to heal. We had a rough period where DD#1 was acting out (she was only about 2 when DD#2 was born, so it wasn't just sibling rivalry but also "the terrible twos."). Still, I managed somehow to carry them *both* around if I had to... baby in one arm and screaming kicking toddler on the other. Sigh...
But I acknowledge a flailing 5 year old boy might be a bit tougher to drag about out...
Oh, I thought it might be one of those restaurants where they give kids balloons on the way out, like Applebee's.
So he was basically just having a meltdown and fixating on the balloon. Sometimes, I have been successful simply empathizing with the kids, "Yeah, I know, you're tired and that was a long meal and yes that balloon is pretty. I can understand wanting one, but they're decorations and not for free."
I agree - me too!
I've gone so far as to go into the house, leaving the kid in the car or on the lawn. But then I peek my head out the curtain to keep an eye on them. It's more difficult to do the walk away thing in a parking lot though. Which is why time-outs in the car work better (either with mom sitting in the front while kid is strapped in carseat, or mom outside the car) - but you do have to drag the kid across the lot to the car.
We do our best as parents but we're only human.
Did he eventually settle down?
My DD#1 could go on and on with her tantrums. Sometimes, if it was just escalating with no end in sight, I would sit her on my lap, arms around her, with her facing forward. I wouldn't talk to her but I'd breathe deeply and rhthymically and she'd start modulating her own breathing to mine, eventually relaxing into my body and calming down. Some kids do need a little more buttistance learning to calm themselves down.
I think it just increases the chances your kid will hit you back. Or hit his sister because she's smaller.
I know what you mean - BTDT. But he may find it really frustrating to be struggling to express his negative emotions, not have the right words, and then be met with laughter and teasing. Try empathizing: "Yes, honey, I know sometimes you're mad and angry with me. I can sense you are frustrated." (note how you just gave him three new words to describe his feelings: anger, mad, frustrated). Then add, "In fact, sometimes your mom gets awfully angry and frustrated with you, too. But even so, I still always love you."
Well, maybe he is fine with his sister, but angry at you because you have less time for him these days.
Or, it could be something else entirely, perhaps something going on at school. Regardless, I think he's got a lot of emotions - anger, frustration - that he's not doing very well to express.
Okay, maybe then try to spend the time before you go out to a restaurant?
jen
