How is this a conflict? Thhe asnwer to the first question is yes, that is my argument. I would suggest that if you cant have that relationship or something close to it, or be aiming for hit, then the situation should not continue.
Question for parents of grownups 3204Ericka Kammerer ------------------------ How about a white mansion owner offering lodging but who has a rule that unmarried african americans can't sleep together? That is just as...
I realize that this is my argument and we have gotten past dragon's original question. I dont want to imply that i'm speaking for her. But the original question was what do you parents of grownups do or think or something like that. This is what I believe "grown ups" being the operative word.
Youre implying that just because the living arrangement is when the parent, the students should be given second clbutt status. I have a big problem with that.
Question for parents of grownups 3203Barbara planterger I think those are very different situations, and I have significant experience living in extended family situations that have worked very...
ADmittedly this is colored by the way and most of the folks I know raised their children and treating their children as mutual members of the household before adulthood.
I guess my thinking is that when my kids became adults and lived with us (as roomies) there wasnt a great deal of conflict. When there was conflict it was solved by mutual agreement, not by decree. HOwever this was most often the case from middle school on with my children. There were things we disagreed on, but we worked them out together. I'm having my quilting group over so can you all stay out of my way (all being husband children and anyone else not capable of chipping in with a needle). Katie says, mom, we're gonna have a barbecue on Saturday night, so I need the kitchen to get ready but youre welcome to come afterwards. Its not, mommy, may I please have some friends over. Husband and Son announce that Sunday from one to nine is football and that they'll eat what I serve but eating at the table is probably out unless its a mbuttacre. Maybe our family dynamic is different, I dont know.
Its also true that in my experience, everyone in the family has often maintained how things are run and made the house a home. I;m sure there are people out there where mom or dad still does the cooking, all the homekeeping tasks but I dont know too many of those. My kids and most of their friends ahve had much input into decoration, what get's purchased at the grocery store and how the house looks and even was kept. Perhpas this is where the difference lies.
I believe in mutual respect. ARe there some house rules? Of course. But in my book, everyone in the house should have some imput.
If it is a home it should be a home for whoever lives there In this case, the the grown children dont want the place to themselves, they want to be able to have what I would consider a grown up relationship. I dont see the FACt of the relationship bothering mom and dad per se. If it did, then perhaps a solutin would need to be reached.
Barb
