Good week article 76

I just want to mention (please don't flame me) that someone women (my SIL, for example) have a lovely time doing this. She just threw a fabulous 'Princess' party for her 3 yr. old with dresses for everyone, a castle cake, matching streamers, invitations, plates, etc. and, I'm sure, fabulous party favors. However, she loves doing this and is very good at it. I feel sorry for the women with whom she is 'friends', though, who feel that now she's raised the bar. I certainly don't feel that way as she and I both know that I'm good at other things so won't be throwing and fancy theme party for E. However, I'm sure there are enough women who aren't as sure of themselves who feel obligated to keep up with other mums when they do something like this.

I know mums like the ones talked about in the article and I thought they were exclusive to my (reasonably well-off) part of Southern California (which is kooky to begin with). I find it very sad that it's a nationwide phenomena and that I've just lucked into a group of friends who aren't like this. Heck, most of spend two hours at the park each morning playing in the sand and on the climbers and swings. We're not obesessing over pre-schools (who wants to spend $15k a year for a toddler anyway) and several of the mums have decided to delay pre-school until their children turn 3 or even 3.5.

I feel really sad for the mums in the article because they're not having any fun. As much as I NEVER thought I'd love being a SAHM, I do. I miss working, but E and I have a great time almost every day and I love being with her. If I hated it, I hope that I would try to find some way to make it better, just as I would switch jobs to improve my happiness. OTOH, DH does get home from work at 4 p.m. most days and he does most of the cooking and a good portion of the parenting, so I'm one of the extremely lucky ones.

In the end, I found the article not bad, but didn't agree with some of her conclusions. For many of the mums who have to work, I highly doubt that they're doing as much of the compebreastive mummying as those who are SAHM (or work part-time) because there just isn't time. Although I think affordable daycare (and pre-school) would answer many of our nation's problems, I don't think it's the solution to the over-compebreastive mum. (BTW, despite the 'mum' thing, I do live the US. I just grew up in Canada and can't quite get my mouth around the word 'mom'.) -- Melissa (in Los Angeles) Mum to Elizabeth 4-13-03 and one due early 3-05